Yesterday evening before dinner, while having a pleasant conversation with my wife about the itinerary of a short trip that I am going on next week, I mentioned that I would have a couple of hours between taking my son to school and the time that I had to leave for the airport. I walked over to her, put my arm around her shoulder and said that I would like to spend that time getting reacquainted with her.
Her response was “I’ve got a few bones to pick with you”. She said that she has issues with the way that I am, with the way that I act. And went into a little spiel about how she knows that it is not possible to change the way other people are. My response was “Pick away - let's talk about our issues.” But she declined to continue the conversation. It would seem that she has some things to say, when we have privacy and time. So do I. I am looking forward to the next Conversation.
Stay tuned.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
It drives me completely bonkers when someone does this to me: announces that s/he has something important to discuss, but then won't tell me WHAT. I have learned to ask, Could you at least tell me the topic sentence? Give me a hint? Make a date with me so that we can discuss this?
Also, it strikes me that your wife may be trying to avoid spending that period of time in physical intimacy, by bringing up something she wants to discuss with you instead. I would argue that you have time for both. :-)
Anias - There is talking and there is doing. My wife is a champion at avoiding BOTH when it comes to physical intimacy. I'm also pretty good at avoiding anxiety-inducing issues - particularly on the talking side. So we've been enabling each other's avoidance issues for a long time.
If we have an honest and open discussion about substantive issues, I would consider that to be a good use of time. Of course, if it becomes a litany of things that are wrong with me, without any willingness on her part to take responsibility for her actions (or inactions), that would be valuable information for me also, as it would help determine the outcome of New Year's Resolution #7.
Post a Comment