Is exercise the answer?

Like Sunny, I am a big believer in sweat therapy. I have always enjoyed working outside on garden projects during the warm summer months. This summer, in particular, I have really enjoyed the feeling of sweat pouring off my body while working over some long-neglected garden beds. And the pleasant feeling of sore muscles the next day.

But with the approaching cold and darkness of winter, I need another way to get my sweat therapy fix.

I have always had an athletic bent. As a boy, growing up with in the middle of a half-a-dozen males, sports was a common frame of reference for all of us. We were always playing basketball, football or baseball. Throw in a couple of neighborhood kids or like-minded cousins and there was always a game going on.

In terms of formal, organized sports, I played Little League through the elementary grades then moved onto basketball in junior high and into my freshman year of high school. Thanks to a delayed puberty growth spurt, I soon realized that I didn’t have much of a future in those sports for which size and strength matter. So I found my competitive niche as a runner. I ran track in high school (but trained year-around) and was fortunate to be on the cross-country and track teams in college. During one particularly cold winter day, we chose to run the stairs in the Science Building instead of braving the elements outside. That was the beginning of the end, as something came loose in my knee and chewed up the inside of my patella. I had an operation and came back for part of a year before deciding to hang up my shoes. The impact of running was just too painful. I had a second operation several years ago that reduced my day-to-day pain, but I have not resumed running. Till today!

I have the good fortune of working at a major university which has a high-quality Rec Center for faculty, students and staff. This week I paid my dues for a yearlong membership and have started exercising. Today’s good news is that I finally got on a treadmill and guess what - I CAN run! Pop in my earbuds, turn on my iPod and off I go! OK - I am not going to get too carried away and start running 10K’s on the treadmill - I will make good use of the no-impact elliptical as well as the low-impact treadmill. And gradually increase the distance and speed.

Along with an awareness of the approaching cold and darkness of winter is an awareness of an approaching depression. Seasonal Affective Disorder - maybe. Maybe something more. But I am hoping exercise is the answer - at least for now.

thoughts across my mind today

Was thinking about a comment that FTN posted on his blog about sex with his wife on the way in to the lab this morning. His comment basically was that “It's good, it's sweet, it's a connection, and sometimes it's great.” This prompted me to think about the different types of interactions that males and females, and in particular my wife and I, need to feel connected. Earlier this year, when my wife had her foot in cast and I came home to drive her around, she made the comment that this type of activity on my part - basically an act of service - made her feel like I cared about her. My mind translates that as a “connection”. Years ago, my wife stated that she needs to feel “connected” to want to have sex. On the other hand, part of the reason that I desire to have sex with her is for the feeling of being “connected”. So, one hypothesis is that acts of service on my part which make my wife feel “connected” to me should translate into increased sexual activity. BUT - it is my observation that acts of service do not result in increased sexual relations between us.

There are several hypotheses to explain this observation: One is that there is no relationship between how “connected” my wife feels and her interest in sexual activities with me. An alternative is that the level of connection that is needed to increase her interest in sexual relations with me requires a level of service activity that I am simply not capable of. A third possibility is that this feeling of connection is a necessary but not sufficient condition to spark her interest in sexual activity.

In other words, I simply have no clue.

Anniversary

Yesterday was our anniversary.

Card from my wife that says “I still forever do”. Yes.
Champagne. Yes.
Steak dinner. Yes.
Cake. Yes.

Sex. No.

Peaceful coexistence. Sucks.